Today my intended journey was altered on-route since it takes an inordinate amount of time to figure out what the road signs mean, especially when there are no subtitles, which is 95% of the time. Even if there are the subtitles, Phat Phong could be spelled as such on the map, then spelled Bat Kong on the sign. Try to pronounce it without the correct pitch of the language and you may say, “Your mother eats weasel.” (Of course, she probably does, but doesn’t serve it to guests.) Within 50 miles of Chiang Mai, I found four towns called Thung Pong. At 4:00PM with night in the near future, I chose a road clearly marked in subtitles. It was the right road to take. With every twist and turn the sunset gave me another surprise.

It was just a bike ride today, but soon I’ll return for the waterfalls, the elephant rides, the cobra show, the omnipresent roadside Thai barbeque, the fresh fruit, the vistas, the villages, the endless panorama of options this country spreads in front of me.

So I live here now. For how long? Months? Years? I don’t know. I’m happy with today and the foreseeable future, whatever that means. Right now America is a marauder. I’m not proud to be an American. I’m proud of the land and the people, but I’m ashamed of the government. I’m glad I look European or however people view me. They accept me as Scott. I’m from America but they seem pleased I love their country and choose to live here.

Thailand is somewhat unique in Asia. It has never been conquered or occupied. Why? Because they’re strong and courageous? Because Buddhism centers the country? Because they constantly bow with hands together and heart open? Because they’re just too damn friendly to fight? How can you stab a smile?

Why Chiang Mai? A few reasons I know and a million I’ve yet to discover. The constant, honest smiles from the heart. The beautiful women. The beautiful men. The absolutely precious children, waving and shouting “Hallo!” The choice climate. The lowland jungles. The highand forests. The majestic mountains. The endless rice paddies. The beaches I have yet to experience. The friends I already have. The friends I will make. (Do you make friends or are they just waiting for you?)  The Spartan price of simple living. The fantastic food. Chiang Mai University. The School for the Blind that gives the best massages in the country because they see with their hands. The AUA Language School. Another school where I hope to teach English. Several renowned massage schools. Meditation schools. Thai cooking schools. The mountains all over again. Chiang Mai is a city of 400,000 sitting at the foot of stunning mountain ranges. (In Winston-Salem, NC the mountains were an hour away. Here they’re right here.) The reclusive yet inviting hill tribes. Laos, Burma, Vietnam, China and Malaysia right next door. Australia and New Zealand one flight away with friends waiting. Cute little geckos on the walls and ceilings, clicking and clucking, speaking gecko to anyone who will listen. The World Insect and Exotic Animals Museum.

When I was a little boy in North Dakota, I loved insects, especially butterflies. I’d leave my house religiously, wandering through the fields, collecting insects, killing them, mounting them. I wanted to be an entomologist when I grew up. (I still have time. I’m still growing up.) In the Midwest, the butterflies are white, yellow, maybe a little red and brown, similar, almost boring. Almost boring because I saw pictures of Asian butterflies and dreamed of the day I could see them live. That dream is now reality. The butterflies are all around me. Flying, flitting, tiny beings of splendor, shining in the sun, like they have bright, multi-colored lights of their own, glowing in their wings. Now I collect them with my camera. Butterflies alone are enough to keep me here for a lifetime.

For years I’ve had an elusive goal: I want to live where I would vacation. Instead of planning, organizing and stressing to put together a couple weeks traveling to the relaxed beauty, why not just live there, where it’s right around me everyday? The beauty is here. I would vacation here. Why not live here?

Many of you have expressed caring and fear about AIDS in Thailand. Yes, it’s here. Young, gorgeous women greet me saying, “Girlfriend?” Don’t worry. I’m not that kind of a guy. Never have been, never will be.

Many have been concerned about the new, deadly SARS: Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome. Depending on what you read or hear, it’s no problem or it’s a big problem. Headlines of the Bangkok paper today: “Entry ban, quarantine flagged. Tougher screening for at-risk visitors.” It supposedly came from southern China, Hong Kong, then to Ha Noi. Hmmm. I’ve just been to southern China, Hong Kong and Ha Noi. In my Spam from Vietnam, I mentioned the Green Thing Living In My Lungs. Maybe I had it and licked it. It’s another Julie Hit-and-Run along the way. If it takes me, so be it. I’ll get into it. One photo I never captured was all the foreign folks in Ha Noi, chauffeured in their cyclos, a three-wheeled bike contraption pedaled by the locals. A daily parade of white tourists with white facemasks in their wheelchairs like escapees from the Ha Noi hospital. Afraid. Fear in their eyes. Be afwaid. Be vewy, vewy afraid, you wascally wabbit. Actually it’s very easy to safeguard yourself against this disease. Consider the Cockroach Extermination Method mentioned earlier: just remove all the air from your house.

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