Okay, here it is, a list of my personal favorites from the menu, unedited, and the names have
not been changed to protect the innocent victims that died for your dining pleasure...
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SEAFOOD (Whatever they see is food)

Sea Products Soup
Anything from the ocean qualifies as an ingredient.

All Fried Cuttlefish Kinds
Mainly I see cuttlefish, brittle and crispy, in plastic bags. Just imagine the essence of the
word “fishy” and make it taste hard, crunchy and intense. Okay, don’t imagine that.

Half-Cooked Cuttlefish With Tamarind
Which part do they cook? “I'd like the left side cooked, right side raw, thanks.”

Cooked Brine
“I’d like my salt water cooked, roasted, then lightly battered and fried, please.”
--With Anabus On Pot
“Can I please have my anabus IN a pot?
By the way, is anabus an animal, mineral or vegetable?”
--With Fish In Bowl On Po
“Who is Po? My waitress? Can I have Po in a bowl with fish on the side?”
--With Water Fish And Meat Side
“This dish has Water Fish. From whence came the fish in the previous option?”

Thicked Eel With Soja Cheese
Life is too short to eat thin eel. Force-feed it some cheese.

Fried Frog With Five Tastes        
1) Head fried 2) Neck thicked 3) Back cooked 4) Buttocks half-cooked 5) Legs raw.
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CHICKEN (And its distant cousins)

Teared Chicken and Crab Soup
“Do you tear it right at the table or was the chicken in tears when you threw it in?”

Turned Chicken With Flagrant Knotweed
FLagrant, not FRagrant, and knotweed does not sound good.

Fried Chicken Skin With Brine
“Before you even bring it to the table, put it in a doggie bag.
Better yet, just give it to your dog.”

Turned, Grilled, Roasted or Fried Pigeon or Sparrow
“I’ll have all of the above, but only the drumsticks. Give me 300, please.”

Brittlefried Sparrow
Brittle is a bad food word. It’s used to describe old bones. Brittlefried is even worse.

Brittlefried Sparrowfried Sparrow With Brine
“May I have a fork, a knife and a hammer, please.”
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VEGETABLES (I think. Plus some meat.)

Grilled Aubergine With Onion Grease
Translation: Aubergine = Eggplant; Onion = Onion; Grease = Grease.

Boiled Bean
Only one, but maybe it’s very large.

Friend Field Cabbage W/Pure Oil
Why not eat your friends? If you don’t like Pure Oil, they can use Onion Grease.

Chop Suey With
Oh, consider the options with this option!
--Chicken Paw And Pulling Out Bone
Ow! Stop it! Don’t say that! Chicken paw? Did Rover have an affair with a Hen-rietta?
--With Beef Squeezing Thoroughly
What was the cow squeezing thoroughly? How long ago? Did it finally come out?
--With Beef Half-Cooked With Lemon
Half-Cooked Cuttlefish could be sushi. Half-Cooked Beef could be death.
--Lotos Roostocko Shimp Meat
Whatever.
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SPECIALTIES (Definitely not Made in the USA)

Grilled Cupine With Adhesive Sauce
Sticks to the plate, sticks to your ribs. What’s a cupine? Female cupid? Poor little thing.

Grilled Wind Pig With Adhesive Sauce Or Five Tastes
“I’ll need both sauces and a bowl of Pepto Bismal on the side.”

Grilled Pig Mama With Adhesive Sauce Or Five Tastes
Don’t even try to translate this into English! Do we get Mama’s kids as appetizers?

Grilled Deer or Goat With Adhesive Sauce Or Five Tastes
If you're afraid of eating Mama, try something vaguely familiar.

Grilled Goat In Dodge Style
This may be the goat that hit the grill of the van yesterday.

Sauted Pig Chest With Salt/Pepper
“I never liked pig’s feet anyway. Just bring me the chest. And 20 pounds of salt/pepper.”

Beef Teak W/Fried Potato
Cow from a teak barn? Teak board with a marrow marinade?

Brittle Fried Intestine Salad
From whence have the intestines come? Sparrow, Frog, Pig Mama or the elusive Cupine?

Grilled Beef With Wedding Cake
I have no idea. No need for a special occasion; you can just have this for lunch.
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DESSERT (If you didn’t dare order the Grilled Beef With Wedding Cake)

Charred Rice In Frying With Gingsen
The rice is already ruined so let’s try frying and spicing it.

Charred Rice From 4 Direction
They get burned rice from all over the neighborhood.

Charred Rice With Onion Grease
Hmmm. This is exactly what I throw out from the pans after dinner is over.

Charred Rice With Fried Chest
Pigeon chest? Cuttlefish? Goat? A farmer trying to save a burning rice paddy?

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